Inspired

Sometimes we get stuck in a "place" in life...I am there...major changes were made in my life in the last few years, with the most recent being very freeing...at the same time I am now faced with a crossroads...

If I choose the safe route...I will stay exactly here I am...working a 9-5 job in a field that is foreign to me, surrounded by people and politics that I don't like, and that seem to be little by little sucking my soul out of me...I don't have time left over to focus on anything creative...I am just paying all of my expenses, and there is no room to move...

If I choose to jump off the cliff...everything is uncertain...I would like to open up a clothing store...there is an up & coming area very close to my neighborhood that needs one...the time now seems to be right, the climate for the store to go in seems good...I am experienced in this field...I have many contacts in the Industry...I would be around people daily, and be doing something that i love...

The risks are financial, but not extreme...my worry though is that I will have to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table...I don't want to depend on the people around me for huge amounts of help...but this is something that I seem to believe in and have faith in more than anything else!

If I stay here, the complacency is clouding my mind and not allowing me to start focusing on what I really should be doing...

I HAVE TO JUMP NOW!!!

Posted by ShoeGirl at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments

Every second seems to be filled up with something to do...I now understand why people need vacations where they do NOTHING!

Tues, Nov 14:

6:00pm: Met up @ Beck's...her house was in shambles, as she was packed up for the movers to come...C & A came to meet up with us...Li picked from the take-out menus and we had sushi as our last supper...we were there to visit MOJO for the last time...Beck's was putting him to sleep on Thursday...

8:30pm: Hauled some boxes from Beck's to mine & dropped Li off with his dad.

8:45pm: Quick-Change, and headed downtown with A to Lee's Palace to see Jamie Lidell... we had no idea what we were in for, but the tickets were only $15, and we like live music, so off we went...we met up with J, and 3 of his friends at the Future Bakery on Bloor, and then we walked over to Lee's...When he eventually came on,what we saw on stage was a badly dressed white man in K-way pants...when he opened his mouth, out came the soul of a black man...Amazing! We were glad that we went

12:00am: Slightly buzzed wandering the one-way side streets North of Bloor, looking for C's car...one of J's friends who we'd met that night..A and I decided that he was our new GBF, and he happened to live 3 mins away from me, so he offered to drive me home...

He had this new i-pod that could hold 8,000+ songs, and A was joking, what? No JT?
He scoffed and made fun, only to flip the switch and a few mins later start fully singing Sexy Back...

12:30: Home safe and sound...where i proceed to neurotically clean for the next 30mins, until I am satisfied that my house is clean enough for me to go to sleep...



In amongst the bags that I brought home from Becks was a bag of books...I'm now reading Running With Scissors...which I think is coming out soon as a movie which should be interesting to see...

On Friday, were heading back to Lee's to see DJ Champion...someone we discovered at the V-Fest...should be an amazing night...can't wait...

Posted by ShoeGirl at 7:48 AM | Permalink | Comments

This world of ours been here a long, long time
And the stars above, I love to watch them shine.
I need your love to lead this life of mine.

Posted by ShoeGirl at 1:36 PM | Permalink | Comments

Relationships consist of the said and the unsaid, and every relationship needs to have some unsaid.

lately I have been over-committing myself to the point of exhaustion...I am aware that this is something that has to stop...

I have been struggling with the fact that there never seems to be enough time! For the last two days I've managed to get out of bed at 5am, and have finally found time...there are two hours waiting for me every morning between 5-7am, where I can be alone in silence with my thoughts and finally get some more things accomplished!

I finally have my website up for my purses, and for the past few weeks I have been planning to get a photoshoot together so that I can have more content on the site...I need to SEW SEW SEW...I've found a focus and now I have to stick with it...

Posted by ShoeGirl at 7:43 AM | Permalink | Comments

see me...

They say that the only things worth having, are the ones which require some sort of struggle...

...so here I am looking at something that my heart is begging me to attain, knowing that the path that will lead me there is marked with obstacles...

...after much consideration, knowing that the easy way out would be to let the pessimistic side of me take over and over-rationalize why it shouldn't or couldn't be...

...I have decided to get ready to face the struggles...never have I ever felt like this ever! i want to embrace the connection and see where it takes us...I want you to know everything there is to know about me...and I want to know all of you...

So that was where my head was at 365 days ago, and oddly enough, I'm in the same headspace today...

So many things have happened in the last year, but somehow I have come back to the same place...I'm residing in this state of Limbo, and "he" is still all that I can think about...

Life, the Universe, and all it's subtle hints...I've driven myself to distraction, and yet the thought of him still haunts me...Why can't I shake this...?

Because I don't want to...

Next step...

YYZ - YQL

Posted by ShoeGirl at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

I can come right out and say that I am fully addicted to certain types of sweets:

Donuts, Pastries, Muffins, Cakes, Candy...

All of which are not so good for me. For some reason I have these crazy strong cravings, which I have allowed myself to give in to...UNTIL NOW!

In an effort to break this addiction, yesterday I cut it all out COLD TURKEY!

Into Day #2 and Apples, as much as I love them, just are not cutting it...

I've decided that I would like to be incredibly hot, and eating all of the above, would definitely not help me reach this goal...

This is so hard...there should be a patch or something!

Posted by ShoeGirl at 11:13 AM | Permalink | Comments

There were crazy sirens that lasted way to long, and Helicopters whizzing overhead near my house on Tuesday? I'm not sure what happened...but sometimes it gets tiring living in this big city.

I have been so tired lately, and it's because I have the nasty habit of over-extending myself.

I don't want to miss out on any opportunities, so I tend to take on a lot. I've decided to slow down, and really focus on what is important to me. L tops that list. I should spend quality time doing all of the things that will truly make me happy, and everything else will fall into place.

Posted by ShoeGirl at 1:25 PM | Permalink | Comments